- ACTING YOUR AGE: If you look much younger than you are, you should play this up.  Do fun things like going dancing, or something adventurous. Similarly, if you don’t want to those things, don’t – but make sure you do something interesting.  Don’t just take your new date to your local pub for beers with your mates.

- TELL THE TRUTH: Hiding your age is a sure fire way to ge tthe girl running when she finds out.  I know many older men who open their relationships just by openly telling the girl how old they are.  Its useful to make a small joke out of it such as:  You can come on a date with me if you think you can keep up with me, after all, I’m 60 years old…etcetc. If you pretend like you’re 40 when you’re 60, the girl will not stay around long when she finds out the truth.  If its just a fling that you’re after, then there is nothing to worry about.

- WATCH WHAT YOU SAY: Sometimes, if you’ve had a good, long life, you forget where you are.  If you are trying to date younger women, then you need to remember that its probably not a good idea to continue talking about your grandchildren.  Or talking about the time you went to the first elvis concert.  Phrases like this put your age in the forefront, and may intimidate younger girls when they realise that you were making love when they weren’t even born!

- DON’T BE DIRTY: You should always be a gentleman.  Younger women will be attracted to you because you are who you are, and not because you are trying to be someone that you aren’t. Therefore, don’t try to get them into bed the first time you meet them.  You do not want to be portrayed as a dirty old man.

Depending on how old or young the person is, love will triumph.  Don’t let age get in the way of what could be a beautiful relationship. The thing about these kinds of thing is that they are all very specific.  You can apply these principles above to every situation of an older man and a younger woman, but its not all you need.  Every relationship has slightly different nuances, and this will be important when it comes to being successful.  So all you older men, get out there – there are plenty of younger women looking to meet some mature, established gentlemen.

In fact, there is an online dating site specifically setup for younger women to find older men. Unfortunately, its mostly girls on the site, so they are in desperate need of more men.

You can go and sign up there if you like – then let me know what you think: Click here

Go and discuss this on the forum at www.datingdragons.com/forums

Happy dating

Alexa Hartstone

Related posts:

1. 10 Reasons Why Men Fail With Women
2. The “Don’ts” Of Dating Women
3. Online Dating Cautions

1.  You know what she wants

2.  You have all she needs

3.  You know your way around the female form

4.  Wet = turned on

5.  Silence is golden.

Visit the forum at www.datingdragons.com/forums

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1. The Female Attraction to Gay Men
2. 10 Reasons Why Men Fail With Women
3. How to Overcome Fear of Rejection

“You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.” * Steve Martin

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” * Woody Allen

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” * Rodney Dangerfield

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL.” * Lynn Lavner

“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.” * Matt Barry

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” *Camille Paglia

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.” * George Burns

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.” * Sharon Stone

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex ~ no matter what she’s reading.” * Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

“I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it, so I said” Thyroid problem?” * Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” * Tiger Woods

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” * Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” * Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn’t think Barbara had a sense of humour)!

“Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” * Robin Williams

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.” * Roseanne

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” * Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.” * Robert De Niro

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?” * Dustin Hoffman

“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, ‘I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked.’” * Jerry Seinfeld

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” * Rod Stewart

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” * Robin Williams

Do you have any more cool quotes from the rich and famous? Let me know on the forum at www.datingdragons.com/forums

Enjoy!

OllieS

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What is a Dating Red Flag? I’m sure you have already experienced those situations where something someone has said to you, or done in front of you has made you feel a bit weird. Or a bit uneasy. These are instinct cues. Some people think that only certain people have instincts. But everyone has the same instincts, the only difference is that some people know how to read, interpret and act on them. Read more and I will teach you how. Firstly let’s visit online dating. You would have started off relatively skeptical, as everyone does. You are not sure that online dating will be safe. Fair enough. Often these relationship meeting spots are rife with unsavoury characters. It is very wise to have a second email address or similar to deal with these situations. I often have an email address called the burn email. If it gets too hot for whatever reason, I shut it down. A good example is using gmail. You can even register multiple email address within the same login. Here are a few red flags of importance, not only for online dating, but also for regular dating as well.

Take heed, as these will serve you well in the future and may just prevent you from ending up writing in the dating disasters section of the forum board!

- Someone you just met online tries to get your phone number or address within the first week of meeting you

- You receive more than 3 messages a day

- The person you are talking to online or in the real world does not answer your questions directly. Why are they avoiding your questions?

- Puts pressure on you to meet them, or gives you an ultimatum

- Will not contact you by phone after you have developed your online relationship. Avoids any real (home phone number, address) information.

- Describes many cliche situations – ie: loving to sit next to a log fire, drinking hot chocolate and gazing into each others eyes.

- Strong religious or political views that you feel are being pressured on you.

OK, sure, this list could go on, and I’m sure they are things that you already know, so onto the interesting part. What about dating red flags to let you know that the person you are dating (online or offline) isn’t really who you think they are:

- Always arrives late, and in a hurry to leave all the time

- Only calls you at strange hours

- Looks at their phone during dates and then changes plans immediately

- Is always looking around the room, scanning the crowd whilst talking to you

- Seems to know lots of people but won’t introduce you.

Right well, as you can see, there are a lot of red flags to observe. And probably many many more that I haven’t written about. The most important dating red flags, however, and the ones that you may be mostly interested in, are those given by a woman, that indicates that she’s just not that into you!

- Girls love communication. So be worried if she always seems to be ending conversations (ie ending an email thread or facebook chat or sms barrage). In general, men will always want to end conversations far before women.

- She seems to know lots of men, and flirts with them, and never introduces you.

- The plans you try to make are often twarted at the last minute. You seem to be chasing her schedule all the time.

- When you are together, you feel that you need to impress her all the time just to get her to keep talking to you.

- She never offers to pay for anything.

- She never invites you to meet her friends.

I hope this list has given you some insight into the dating red flags that I have come across in my travels. There are many many more dating tips and cautions that I have, however my articles have been getting to long (So I’m told!). If you would like to ask me more, please ask me on the forum located at http://www.datingdragons.com/forums or facebook me – search for Harry Laurent!

Thanks for reading

Happy Hunting

Harry Laurent

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Beautiful women on the other hand, are approached by men numerous times. Like with anything that happens all the time, they get bored. Hot girls know they are hot- they have people telling them that all the time. To make their life easier they have little plans to avoid having to waste their time with every guy who comes up to them to tell them they are beautiful. They tell you they are attached, are really busy with work or aren’t allowing themselves to see anyone right now. Effectively they are telling you to ‘piss off’ in a nice way. So why do they do this? Well, most guys will do one of two things when they approach a beautiful woman. To hide their nervousness most men will: 1. Compliment her on her looks 2. Bribe her Let me describe these in a little more detail. 1. Compliments Most men will open up their conversation with a beautiful woman by telling her how hot she is. She already knows this so why waste your time to look like every other guy. Hot women know they are hot, so what they crave is appreciation of them as a person.

Why do they do this?

Well, 99% of guys are too scared/ nervous/ excited to approach a beautiful woman, so what do they do? Most of the time they just stare at her across the room, unconsciously drooling while fantasizing about her in their head. This makes her feel like a piece of meat and think all guys are superficial. So when she sees you staring then muster the guts to approach her and all you can do is tell her how beautiful she is you quickly get placed into the category of being just another guy who wants to get into her pants. Compliments do work with beautiful women, but there is a special art to the compliment. That is the topic for another article. 2. Bribery Attractive women make most men feel nervous and inadequate. So what do we do? We try to bribe them into talking to us. Typically a guy will see a beautiful girl, approach her, tell her how beautiful she is and then straight away ask her if he can buy her a drink. True, if she says ‘yes’ then this will buy you more time to prove yourself but the reality is that most women see it as bribery and will reject your offer. This is because if she allows you to buy her a drink, she feels she will owe you something in return, a problem she would rather not have to deal with. To attract and date beautiful women keep these thoughts in mind. Hot girls know they are hot and you need to have a strategy that will put you above the losers.

For more tips and advice on how to attract and date beautiful women visit the forum at www.DatingDragons.com/forums

Happy Hunting

Harry Laurent

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1. 10 Reasons Why Men Fail With Women
2. How To Attract Beautiful Women
3. How to Overcome Fear of Rejection

1. Keep things real – it is only a date. Your life does not depend on it, whatever you may be thinking. This puts you in a better frame of mind. Many guys are scared of dating, and this shows. Relax!

2. Take your time getting ready. Don’t rush – if that means going home slightly early – do it. You will be prepared, sharp and ready…Rushing will make you seem a mess to an attractive woman.

3. Choose your outfit early and do make an effort to look nice. Your confidence will show through in how you carry yourself. Unless you are Brad Pitt, most guys need some confidence boosters. A new pair of shoes will help!

4. Play some nice music that puts gets you in the mood and makes you feel good. A CD that makes you dance around is always good to make you relax and exude confidence and happiness!

5. Make sure you know where you are going and when you need to be there. Rocking up an hour late, or getting lost isn’t a good look…Book a cab with time to spare.

6. IMPORTANT: Quality Aftershaves ONLY! These supermarket 2 dollar Lynx sprays will not suffice – despite what the ads tell us. Whilst your own nostrils may not be able to detect the half a bottle of Hugo Boss you have just drenched yourself in, your date will not be able to see you though the vapor cloud.

7. Give some thought to what you are going to talk about and what things you would like to avoid. It isn’t quite an interview situation and should never feel like one, but some of the same rules apply. Preparation is the key.

8. Tell a good friend where you are going just in case you need to “call in a favour”.

9. Ensure your shoes are neat and that you have remembered the accessories such as nice belt, watch and wallet. The details may not be so important to you, but they speak volumes about you.

10. Try to eradicate any preconceptions or expectations. This date doesn’t have to work. It is just a night out with a member of the opposite sex. If things do work out then great, but as I said at the beginning, be cool. Your date will spot any tiny signs of desperation on your part before you even know it which is why before arriving on a date you should do everything to make yourself relax.

11. If you wish to take flowers along, that’s nice but keep the proportions small and make things subtle and stylish. Like I said in my previous article – showering a girl with gifts is a sure way to make it look like you’re compensating for something – be it your personality, or your confidence.

12. Do not imagine you are going to score this evening even though it may not be far from your mind. By the same token, do make sure that your bed sheets are fresh and the place is tidy, just in case. I’ve always liked the saying: Plan like you’re live forever, and live like you’ll die tomorrow.

13. Picture the person you think you are about to meet and what you have to say about yourself, particularly with reference to any questions they may ask you.

14. Even at this early stage remember that you will not be telling anyone that you love them this evening (See my previous article on revealing your feelings!).

15. Body language speaks more about you than you think. Think about your body signals in advance as well as remembering how to read theirs so that you can pick up all the standard interest signals. It tips the scales in your favour when you know what they are thinking.

Happy Hunting

Harry

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2. When To Call After The First Date
3. Do Bad Guys Always Get the Girl?

Flirting does require a bit of work and practice but once you have learnt how to flirt properly for your personality you will see your success with women improve astronomically.  Here are some beginner tips on how to flirt.

1.  Girls love flirting

Women, like men, love attention and being admired.  “Flirting” is simply female speak for the male term “pick up”.  Girls don’t want to be picked up as this makes them feel objectified whereas the term “flirting” has the connotation of something that is more fun and playful.  Flirting is like the way little boys will tease little girls to get their attention.  Deep down all women are little girls at heart.

2.  Flirt to make HER feel good

Most guys go into flirting with the expectation that they will succeed in getting a girl’s number or securing a date or some other notional measure of success.  Try change your mentality.  Tell yourself “I am flirting with this girl to make her feel good”.  If you approach flirting this way then you will make it more about her and less about you.  By doing this she will as if you are interested in her and not just about getting into her pants.

3.  Make flirting fun

Do you remember yelling to a girls in the playground the line: “Girls are weak, chuck chuck ‘em in the creek.  Boys are strong, like King Kong”?  The response is that the girl will either chase you round the swings and slippery dips, or at worst, at least talk to you to defend why she is stronger than you and about how much little boys suck.  It’s the exact same thing with flirting- it’s just an adult form of play fighting.  What little boys do in the playground is the basis of the ‘cocky and funny’ approach to flirting.

4.  Start slow and build your confidence

Technology has given us many ways to practice flirting techniques without the need for face-to-face interaction.  If you are a shy guy this is a good place to start.  Online dating sites, text messaging, instant messaging and chat rooms are all ways that you can hone in your skills on what flirting techniques will work for you.  Make sure that you are funny and keep your messages short.  It’s better to pepper her with short messages that will brighten her day than a long email that she will never finish reading.

5.  Practice, practice, practice

Make every woman you meet (bar your family members!) a person you can practice your flirting skills with.  Because you now have the mindset that you are flirting for her benefit you will come across as a guy who is fun to be around rather than a sleaze.  Practice your cheeky grin, wink  or new line.  Gauge their reaction.  If a colleague is offended by one of your lines, then chances are that it is best to kick that one out of your flirting game plan.

6.  Control the conversation

When you are starting your flirting career it’s important that you get your confidence up.  One way of doing this is to make sure that you are the person who ends the conversation.  A typical example:  you are in the line at the supermarket or ticket counter and you start flirting with a girl.  You get your groceries/ tickets paid for and it’s time to move on.  Deep down you desperately want to ask for her number.  Resist the urge for the first 20 or so times you start flirting with strangers.  What you need to do is say something like “It was great meeting you, but I really must get going”.  By doing this you have controlled the interaction and this will build your confidence.  There is nothing worse than being shut down when you ask for her number or have her walk off without saying anything at all.

So here are a few beginner tips for flirting with women.  Look out for my other articles on flirting and dating. Or read Harry’s flirting tips!

Ask me about these flirting tips on the forum at www.datingdragons.com/forums

Happy dating!
Alexa xxx

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Here are some kissing tips. Of course, being confident with your kissing, like being confident with anything, is important in maintaining that persona of always being in control, which is as you know, very important to a girls first gut feeling of you. Here are the advanced kissing tips to propel you to Don Juan status from your first kiss…

1. Foreplay your kiss – just like sex, you can increase the appeal of your kiss if you build up towards it. Just before your lips touch, you should hold off just a second. She will wonder what is going on, and this will increase her anxiety levels slightly. Don’t worry – this is a good thing. When your lips finally touch, she will want it so much, you don’t even have to read the rest of this article to impress! Make sure you give her a little smile before you go in for the kiss, and give her a little smile after your kiss. This breaks the tension and increases your chances of getting future kisses.

2. Close your eyes - recent studies from the latest womens magazines (Yes I read them sometimes!) state that women believe that guys who kiss with their eyes open are untrustworthy. Furthermore, all girls are self conscious, and if you are watching them as you kiss, they will feel like you are checking them out rather than enjoying the kiss.

3. Strategic positioning of your hands. If this is your first date, or early on in your relationship, then placing your hands on a womans breasts or buttocks will not go down well. The best place to put your hands is on the small of a girls back, holding her closely to you as you smooch. When things are heating up, place your hand on the side of her face, gently cupping her cheek.

4. Advanced tongue movements – don’t just stick your tongue down her throat like you are trying to taste her last meal. You need to move your tongue slowly and gently. Touching your tongue tip to tip to hers is the first step, and then using her cues to increase the pressure as things heat up. If she is a gentle kissers, then you will never win points by going in too strongly. The most important tip you can take away from here is to use her body language and cues to direct how you continue to kiss.

5. Kiss her neck – there are multiple erogenous zones in the body, but if your kiss is successful and you get the chance to, gently kissing her neck will run very powerful sensations down her spine to places you will like to entice later on. Some articles I have read even suggest the underarms, but I can assure you that this is complete craziness, and will NOT work.

If you follow these tried and tested secrets, you will be well on your way to becoming the talk of your girl’s sunday brunch sessions. This is important as you’ve made a good first impression, and your reputation levels will increase with that pool of women. And remember, women’s talk moves like a stream. It moves quickly and if its clean and clear, all the towns get clean and clear water. If you muddy the water upstream, everyone tastes the mud…So stay clean. Please enjoy these advanced kissing tips. If you find these kissing tips useful, then share it using the links below.

Visit the forum at www.datingdragons.com/forums

Happy Hunting

Harry Laurent

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Have you ever observed that the really hot women never seem to gravitate to the “nice” guys? Of course you have. Just like I have, I’m sure you’ve had hot female friends that always seemed to date “jerks”… but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU. What’s going on here? It’s actually very simple…Women don’t base their choices of men on how “nice” a guy is. They decide to date them based on a deep, intense, GUT FEELING. And do you know what? As much as being nice seems to be the right thing to do, it doesn’t give women that powerful feeling of attraction. And women will not CHOOSE you. I understand that this seems counter-intuitive and might be hard to accept, but seriously – LISTEN TO ME! Until you accept this as a reality and start acting on it, you’ll never be the Don Juan with women you wanted to be.

Have a think about situations where you’ve heard or seen a guy that REALLY likes a woman. And you can see that she’s just not interested. What do they do? They try to convince the women and change their mind. Well, here’s the secret – You can NEVER change how a women FEELS when it boils down to attraction. Absolutely NEVER. Its impossible to convince a women to feel differently using your well honed logic and reasoning skills. Feelings are never logical, and your arguments will fall by the roadside. But unfortunately, we all do it. This is a situation, where unfortunately it won’t work. When you know you’re beaten, move on – don’t waste anymore time. Trying to wear a woman down will be unsatisfying for both parties.

In our quest to please women (which we wrongly think will make them like us), us men are always doing things to get a woman’s “approval” or “permission”. Another TERRIBLE idea. Women are NEVER attracted to the types of guys who kiss up to them… EVER. Don’t misunderstand me here. You shouldn’t treat a woman POORLY (ie treat them mean keep them keen) to make her like you. But if you believe that treating a woman well means “always getting her approval and permission for things”, think again. Women actually get PISSED OFF at men who seek their approval. Its another of these dominance things. Don’t believe me? Just ask any attractive woman if soft guys who chase them around and want their approval are sexy…

So many times have men taken their dates out for a nice dinner, bought them jelly beans and given her flowers at the door, only to have them REJECT them for someone who in their eyes treat them far worse. If you’re like me, then you’ve had it happen a LOT. Well guess what? It’s only HUMAN NATURE when this happens…That’s right, I said HUMAN NATURE. When you do these things, you send a clear signal: “I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I’m going to try to buy your attention and affection”. Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That’s right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.

Men should never share how they “feel” too early in the relationship. Although there are meny attractive women, each of them would get approached many times a day, and receive LOTS of attention from men. A hot woman probably gets approached SEVERAL TIMES A DAY by men who are interested. This translates into multiple times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month. And guess what? Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That’s right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And there is one thing that really turns hot women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying “You know, I really, REALLY like you” after one or two dates. This signals to the woman that you’re just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast… and can’t control themselves. Don’t do it. Sit back. Relax. There’s a much better way…

Women and men have very different factors when it comes to deciding ATTRACTION. You will need to accept this before you move on. Deal with it. When a man sees a sexy women, there is an immediate sexual attraction. But is this the same for women? OF COURSE NOT! After studying this topic for quite some time now, I can tell you that women usually have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks. How many times have you seen attractive women with average or unattractive men? Now think of the times you’ve seen this the other way around. Think about it Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men… and they’re attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communicate correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. But it’s not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY guy can learn how…

A common mistakes that guys make is throwing in the towel before they’ve even begun… because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money… or guys who are a certain height… or guys who spend their days at the gym. And sure, there will always be some women who are only interested in these things. But MOST women are far more interested in a man’s personality than his pectorals or his pocketbook. There are some personality traits that attract women like bees to honey…And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU will be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to “settle” for a woman just because you aren’t rich, tall, or handsome. Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a beautiful, sexy young woman.

Earlier I eluded that it’s a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to attractive women. In a different way of thinking, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another terrible idea…Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over… Women aren’t attracted to SOFTIES!

Now I’m going to blow you away…A woman will ALWAYS know what you’re thinking. Women are about EIGHT TIMES better than men at reading body language. That’s eight TIMES. I know, it might be difficult to comprehend. Take this example: if you’re on a date with a woman, and you are thinking of kissing her, she will knows. And if you don’t know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting all nervous, she won’t help! She will LET you squirm. And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating…Approaching a woman, getting her digits, asking her to dinner, kissing her, getting to 3rd base… everything. If you don’t know what to do in each situation, you will probably stuff it up… and LOSE THE GAME. And you KNOW this. It is VERY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a beautiful girl… from the first meeting, all the way to the boudoir.

This is the mistake that keeps us guys from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want. I know, men don’t like to make themselves look like we don’t have all the answers. We don’t want to ask for help. Hey, I’ve been right there myself. Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women…About eight years ago I became sick of the fact that I didn’t really know how to approach, meet, and obtain dates with women that I was attracted to. It frustrated the hell out of me. One night I was out with my friend, and I saw a beautiful woman I wanted to ask to dinner, but I just couldn’t get up the courage to do it. I can still remember that night clearly because it changed my world… right at that instance I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating. Well, after lots of hard work, studying, reading and trying all kinds of silly things, I finally figured it all out. I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I’ve dated bikini models, I’ve dated actresses, and I’ve dated nice, normal, regular next door type of girls as well. It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling… like I don’t know how to meet women… and I might wind up alone. I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.

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the perfect girl

Dear Harry,

Kelly and I are both 28, She’s beautiful, well educated, works out frequently, and is fun to be around. Over the last month, we have seen each probably 5 or 6 times. We’ve done very datey types of things such as going for a long bike ride (she loves bike riding) through some hills where we talked a lot about relationships and she mentioned to me a few attributes of what she might want from a man, and what she was looking for. Amongst those things, she wanted someone who had a stable career. I work as a telecommunications manager, and during the recent financial crisis, my job has been made redundant. I am now looking for work, but part of the reason why we can spend time together, is because I don’t have to be at work now! Recently, we both went to a party together where Kelly and I had a great time – we were mainly dancing with each other, and spent some time alone “cooling down”. What do you think I should do?

her schedule is too full

We normally communicate via text messaging or email, and I get the feeling that she wants to hang out. Then, on email, she talked about a few things we could do like going to the movies and having a picnic. Of course I said yes to this! We had a tentative plan for me to pick her up on that morning, which was about 5 days after the email. The night before the meeting, I text messaged her to ask her what time I should pick her up, and this was her reply:

“Hey – hope things are well, I just found out that a friend is leaving for Japan and he’s organised a few friends to have a going away party. Can we take a raincheck? Sorry its late notice, but I really want to see him before he leaves.” The rest of the email was her just telling me how busy she has been recently. I told her I would be at a bar that night and that she could meet me there when she finished with her friends going away party.

I have a couple of questions: Am I being too eager? I know in your dating tips, you say that we should try to be a bit more aloof when it comes to making plans. Also, am I misinterpreting the signs? I really want to be with her but I also don’t want to waste my time if she’s not interested.

 
Dan

From Harry Laurent

Hi Dan,

Thanks for writing in – it looks like you’ve found someone who’s attributes you admire – and there are a lot of things about her that you like. But the main question is: are there any positive signals given from her? Have you seen any of the normal flirting signs (ie touching your arm “accidentally”, playing with her hair, looking up at you and holding your gaze)? Because that’s what counts.

I can tell that you have had some impromptu dates together over the last month, but what other things have you done? A few bike rides could not mean much, especially because you say that she is a keen cyclist – this can often mean that she just wants company when she is doing something she would already do (ie killing 2 birds with one stone). The true test is to work out whether she wants to do things that you want to do. If you have read some of my other articles, you would realise that you need to try to make the decisions early, so she doesn’t think you are a wuss. Next time you are making plans to do something, ask her to do something that you love doing, that you know she has no real great desire to do, whether it be going 10 pin bowling, or rock climbing. If she chooses to follow you to do that, then that is a hugely positive sign.

Is she seeing someone else?

I can sense that you are a little bit thrown off by the fact that she is going to see another man instead of keeping your date. Well, you need to let this go – as she will be able to see right through your thinking. If she feels that you are in the least bit jealous or envious of the other man, that will push her in his direction. Of course, he is leaving for Japan, so this may not be an issue there, but keep in mind that she is single, and there are many other options around for her – especially if she is as complete as you say.

You should have asked Lana what she meant when she said her ex was not long-term material. Was there something in his personality or his character that she didn’t care for, or was it the fact that he never had a job? You don’t have a clue what she meant, guy. You’re only guessing when you assume that the guy’s portfolio was nonexistent. When you run into a situation like this, get the woman to be specific, and don’t accept a gray answer. Pin it down. Get it in black and white. It was good that you let her do all the yakking, however.

Being too eager is a mistake that many guys make, but finding that balance between not coming across as being totally uninterested to being a slight challenge. Consider some of my previous tips on being confident. If you truly want to learn the art of dating, subscribe to my newsletter where I send multiple tips weekly which can help you in your endeavours. And as soon as my ebook is officially released – my subscribers will receive a free copy of this if they are subscribed prior to the ebooks official launch. After this, the book will cost $9.95.

Remember – its not the girl, but the way you tune her.

 Ask me more on the forum.

Happy Hunting

Harry

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