What Your Coffee Says About You

OK, so we all know that everything we do and how we portray ourselves is important in determining what people think of us, and in tody’s popular culture of drinking coffee and meeting for coffee as substitutes for longer, more classic dates, here is a list I compiled after discussing with several hotties of mine. These ladies are well versed in “coffee culture” and by very certain terms, give me a list of what you are saying to the ladies when you order your coffee. Take note, as some are death traps to dating!

The Latte -

Widespread and rampant, the Latte has long become a staple when ordering coffee. It has slightly larger froth (or head) when compared with a flat white, but both are often interchangeable except for the cup. Lattes are produced to you typically in a glass cup with a napkin wrapped around it to stop you burning youself. My team of experts have assured me that you should order a latte after you have gotten to know a girl first. Girls watching you will think that you are a but of a wuss, unless you are actually from Italy. Some will think you are hopelessly butchering the word “Latte” unless you are actually from Italy.

The Flat White -

Similar in taste and consistency to The Latte, however may not have as much froth on the top. The Flat White is served in a cup, and appearances are more of a standard coffee. You definitely wil

l NOT give the illusion that you are a pretty boy if you order this one, and it was recommended that if you like your coffee with milk, then this is the one to order to stay in the safe zone. Having said that, if your girl is

adventurous, ordering a flat white makes you look slightly boring.

The Cappuccino -

A flat coffee with no body to it, it makes up for this with a very froth top, coated with chocolate powder. As appealing as this sounds, girls find this drink Yummy for themselves, and will not portray you in a strong light. In fact, by ordering a cappuccino, the overall signal given to women is “I do not like coffee, and thus have to coat it with girly chocolate to drink it”. More so, you have to drink it with a spoon at first, and that is not a masculine affair. Stick with other coffees, unless you can’t, in which case, you will need to boost your profile in other ways.

The Macciato -

Meaning “Marked” or “Stained”, this drink is a short coffee. It is basically an espresso with a stain of milk in it. If you like your coffees hard and fast, then this may be for you. Most people ha

ve a touch of sugar with this coffee. From my panel of experts, the imag you will give if you order one of these is a good one. Girls will think that you are cultured for even knowing how to pronounce Macciato (Muck – Ee – R – Toe) – but make sure you get it right. There is nothing worse than mucking up the name of the coffee that you supposedly order all the time. If you are unsure, find an italian friend and have them say it over and over again.

The Espresso -

One shot of dark, liquid gold – straight up. You order this, if you have no time to mess around. People on the go will order this, and often, this is not a hugely wonderful choice if you are on a date. After 20 seconds, your coffee is finished and you have to either get up to order another one or if you are in an establishment which correctly serves a glass of water with your espresso, you will need to sit there and sip water. Girls will think you are weird for ordering this coffee if you are there to spend time with them, unless you just got off a night shift. If you are drnking alone, this is a terrific option, as observing women at your local espresso bar will see you as someone who takes control and doesn’t muck around – a good build up for the future.

The Long Black -

A Double shot of espresso – often made incorrectly (Cheap coffee houses will only use 1 shot of coffee) – water is carefully poured into the cup to maintain the creme at the top of the coffee. This is vital. If you receive your long black without creme, it looks like a cup of instant coffee which is not “cultured”. Girls find this intriguiging. Never order a side of milk like some people do as it makes you look fussy – why not just order a flat white? Most people who order a long black appear a little hardcore, and this may be a good thing. Men who order this appear strong.

The Mocha -

2 words – stay away. Although a yummy drink when you were 6 and on school camp, this coffee is really not a coffee but rather a milo with coffee flavour. Women find this coffee intruiging only because they are wondering whether you also have tomato sauce with your agentinian steak. Forget about it.

The Vanilla Chai Latte with Mint -

OK, so you’ve read down to the bottom of the list…waiting to find the coffee that you drink. If you are drinking any form of Vanilla, Chai or Mint when it comes to your coffee, then you need to go back to the start of this list and start reading my comments again. My sources confirmed to me that by ordering these types of coffees, you will be best friends with girls – but only because they are hoping that you will go handbag shopping with them later. The only time that you should be ordering one of these if when you are ordering it for your competition. Just deliver the coffee to another guy and say, “Oh, sorry, the girl said that this is what you always get…” – competition removed. Of course, unless you are going for the female attraction to Gay Men angle, which I don’t suggest.

So no matter what coffee you order, you must know how to be confident and portray a great frst impression.

Discuss your coffee usage on the forum.

Commentary on Mens Dating Tips

Ollie

Share this: