Posted by Harry in Dating Tips, Harry Laurent, Pick up | 2 comments
Beating Shyness – A Practical Guide
So you’re shy. So what you think? Well, there is more to meeting girls than just reading the articles here. Of course, they give you a huge leg up, but lots of your advancements in being successful with picking up single women, or being successful on online dating sites is within yourself. Don’t wait another minute, and start reading this to overcome shyness…
Definition of shyness:
adj. shi·er (shr) or shy·er, shi·est (sh
st) or shy·est
1. Easily startled; timid.2.a. Drawing back from contact or familiarity with others; retiring or reserved.b. Marked by reserve or diffidence: a shy glance.3. Distrustful; wary: shy of strangers.4. Not having paid an amount due, as one’s ante in poker.5. Short; lacking: Eleven is one shy of a dozen.intr.v. shied (shd), shy·ing, shies (sh
6. To move suddenly, as if startled; start.7. To draw back, as from fear or caution; recoil.n. pl. shies (sh
So this is the dictionary definition of being shy, but what about the DATING definition of shyness. Its a bit simpler:
Shyness = No dating.
What we have learnt over time is that shyness will significantly impact on the number of dates you get. This should be fairly obvious to most of you, who would realize that the formula of More Tries = More Dates would mean that shy guys just don’t have the numbers, and its definitely true. The numbers just don’t work. Say there is a shy but above average looking guy. He stands in the corner. He has his arms folded and doesn’t approach anyone. Even when other guys come up to him, he gives them 1 syllable answers and doesn’t engage in any activities or conversation. Other guys will ALSO not talk to you. So this applies not only to your guy-girl interactions, but also with your friendships. So how can you beat this? Here are the essential tips to help you on your way to overcoming shyness. Don’t be Love Shy! Be Love Confident!
Get rid of my shyness tips
1. Posture: Stand tall. Don’t slouch and droop your shoulders. Make sure that you have a strong core (ie stomach is held firm and chest is proud) – you don’t have to be a muscle man, but if you concentrate on these 2 things, you will appear very much more confident. Whilst you are at it, don’t just do it half arsed, actually stand in front of a mirror and check what you look like. Having a bad posture will make you look love shy.
2. Body language. Make sure that you aren’t giving signals that tell people to go away. Arm crossing, looking down at your shoes, turning away when someone is speaking to you, etc – all have an impact on whether people will talk to you. Remember, being shy does not only mean that you aren’t making the effort to speak to others, but also means that people won’t want to talk to you if you are not giving them the correct messages. By working on your body language, you will improve the number of people that come up and talk to you which in turn means More Tries = More Dates.
3. Eye contact. Although eye contact is in part to do with your posture and your body language as above, it is so important, it deserves its own bullet point. Eye contact with other girls AND other guys is an essential part of overcoming your shyness. Shy guys do not hold gazes. They look away as soon as they are looked at, and people perceive this as being shy/weak/not confident. Make the change. Scan the room with your eyes and hold gazes. But don’t stare. It IS a bit of a balance, but I’m sure you will get the right idea. A quick tip – when holding a gaze, especially with a female, in your mind just think: “You are reaaaaaaalllllly hot” and if you are still looking at them for any longer than that, then its too long. Don’t stare.
4. Be proactive. Overcoming shyness means you need to put yourself in some uncomfortable situations. Sure, you may not WANT to approach a group of girls – and yes, I do know that they may seem intimidating – but you will NEED to do this a few times to get it into your psyche that they will NOT bite you. The trick is – start slow. Approach 2 girls – perhaps they aren’t too good looking. Have a chat, not longer than 2-3 minutes, and then move on. Then approach 2 girls who are a bit better looking, and then next time approach 5 girls who are good looking. And so on and so on. Over time (A relatively short amount of time), this tip in itself can help you get past your shyness and move on. Within a few weeks, you will be so much more confident, you will be amazed.
5. Be Curious. This tip will help you when you are talking to others. Its a great trick, and one that I tell everyone that I can. All you need to do is be curious. Or be interested. When are you next talking to someone and you are in the process of curing your shyness, all you need to do is to ask the other person all about themselves. Be interested in what they are doing, or what they have done. You’d be amazed at how much people love talking about themselves. This is fantastic as then you don’t even need to think about anything to talk about! Once you master this technique, you will never feel shy again when you meet new people.
6. Boost your numbers. The biggest point of this article is to boost your numbers, and the only way you’re going to do this is by asking more and more girls out. Beating shyness can all be seen by the number of people you ask out in one night. The trick to this (And this one you shouldn’t tell everyone about or it will be obvious). With a few friends, have a scoreboard. Call it the Board of Success. Just ask a few friends to keep score of the number of girls you ask out in one night. This is an honor system and one that will rocket you to success. Make it a game. You get 1 point per person you ask out. 2 points if they give you their number, and 3 points if you get a kiss (even on the cheek). Someone has to witness each event, or sight the number. By the end of the night, you will have a few numbers, have gotten a few kisses on the cheek, and at the end of the day – you’ve overcome shyness and stop being love shy!
Now go on, get out of here and make this work. I guarantee that if you follow these steps, you will get over your shyness before you know it. Be a love guru, not love shy!
Happy hunting
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This post has some really good ideas. I haven’t read this type of thing anywhere. Most articles just tell you to smile a lot and things, but this has some really practical advice.
Great blog.