Posted by Harry in Harry Laurent, Relationship | 0 comments
How To Deal With Rejection
When the action doesn’t meet the expectation…
How To Deal With Rejection
Dear Harry,
I met this girl who I really liked. We met last summer at a hip hop dance class, and we seemed to have hit if off really well. We would always pair up during class and she even once invited me out to a party with some of her other friends after dance class.
Anyway, a few weeks ago, I plucked up the courage, and asked her to dinner at my house. I had already made the menu and bought some new flowers, and I knew she wasn’t busy because she told me a few weeks back that this was her weekend to herself where she had nothing planned. When I asked her, she just said “No – sorry, I can’t do it this weekend” but then made no suggestion that we could take a raincheck.
What do you think? I put all my eggs in this basket, and when I went home, I felt really upset as I had to waste the food, and I don’t even really like flowers.
Severely heart broken,
Jay
We all Crash and Burn
Dear Jay,
Dealing with rejection is paramount to our success. How often do formula 1 drivers try to reach that podium. How often does a MotoGP rider crash and burn before turning into Rossi or Stoner? If you can’t deal with rejection, you can never date beautiful women. Onto your letter:
There are some alarm bells in my head that go off when I was reading your article. The first thing you must realise is that there are many girls out there, and that you don’t need to feel bad when asking one girl out goes wrong. Putting all your eggs in this basket, as you say, is completely what I teach against. If you continue to do this, you will come across as desperate or too eager, and will chase girls away. Remember my article on confidence. By focussing all your attention on one girl, you will definitely come across as desperate. Desperate guys do NOT get girls. Spread the love, Jay, spread the love. I have a rule of always having 3 options at any 1 time. Now, although you may like one of them more than the others, you will always have 3 options that you will want to at least pursue. Sure, this girl you met at dance class may seem like the perfect bearer of your children, but you are in fact, shooting yourself in the foot. By coming across as she is the lucky one to be coming to dinner with you, you might just find that she will be more receptive. Instead of just asking a girl out to have dinner at your place say something a little cocky like: “Hey, if you’re not doing anything this Saturday, you can make me dinner – my stove broke down, and I lost my masterchef recipes”…
Your letter also suggests that you already put your heart into this girl before things ever began. Being severely heart broken without even lifting off the ground is a recipe for disaster. Keep things in perspective, and try not to read too much into things.
You are correct in thinking that she isn’t that interested. If she were, she would have made plans for some other time. But remember, she already told you that she was going to have a weekend to herself. Even so, if she really thought of you in that way, then she would have made alternative plans to see you.
Jay, it’s time to move on. Never focus your attentions too heavily on one girl. Girls will pick up on this, and push you away. Always be confident and try to have at least 2 or 3 options for dates. Chin up, there are many more “perfect” girls out there.
Happy Hunting
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