Nov 7, 2009

Posted by Alexa in Alexa Hartstone, Relationship | 5 comments

Text Message Etiquette

Full length of young men and women holding cellphoneAs technology continues to wrap us in her motherly arms, the growing use of the text message or SMS brings with it an etiquette similar to common table manners.

Whilst text messaging offers the freedom of delayed response time and fast communication, text messaging women can often push the wrong buttons.

Here are some guidelines when texting or receiving SMS in a relationship.

1.  Night time is for sleeping.
You wouldn’t call her home phone in the middle of the night and neither should you text.  Given that most text message alerts are loud enough to wake a person, respect her lifestyle.  A text on random Tuesday morning at 2 am is not cool.  The late night SMS will make you look desperate and needy.

2.  Don’t say anything that you wouldn’t say in person.
Similar to emails, the intonation and emotion in a text can be read incorrectly.  Be careful using capitals and symbols- they can easily be keyed in the the wrong way and misunderstood.  A smile and frown are only one button away from each other but the response will be hugely different.

3.  Alcohol and SMS are not friends.
Most of us have probably realised that drunken messaging is a cocktail for disaster.  Most of the time the text refers to a booty call of some description.  Commonly problems arise when your message backfires and you look like a sleeze or you accidentally text the wrong number and your mother (or boss) is left to decline your sexual advances in the small hours of the morning.

4.  Abbreviate appropriately.
Unless you are dating a 14 year old, text speak is best left to a minimum.  There is nothing worse than having to painstakingly decipher the coded message of a hyper-abbreviated SMS.

5.  Keep messages brief.
Avoid the urge to bombard her with a long string of questions and a message that reads more like a novel.  Similarly, realise when to end the text exchange.  We are all busy people and your fanatic text barrage will make you look obsessive and possessive.

6.  SMS is not for serious issues.
Text messaging provides us with a shield to protect our vulnerability but also offers a weapon for guerilla warfare.  We can use SMS to shyly ask someone on a date but when it comes to serious issues nothing can replace face to face conversation or a phone call.  We all know someone who’s been dumped by phone or email but being dumped by SMS is the worst.  Never break up with a girl via SMS, it makes you look weak and irresponsible.  Arguments are sorted faster with a quick call rather than a volley of scathing remarks which often are misinterpreted and simply escalate tensions.

In short, text messaging is fast and fun way to transfer a message when used correctly but be careful, it also has it pitfalls.

Happy dating!

Alexa xxx

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